Twas brillig andtheslithy tows...
aid”! andgimble in the walk.
Allmimsy wen! the bavgaws...
andthemamenthsautgnbe.
m's themidak mm mm-
agesdalkerthananyme [laden/crammed
Anharnndausmanstercasls a My]! affean...
aver: ancehappyland
As towns and villages
thehelplesssundvars seek mﬁlge...
behind the walls of the great city.
Butautin the forest...
in isolatedpoclrets...
still untouched by the ravages of the monster"
life andhusinessgaes an...
as usual.
Thirteen. fourteen— Oh. there's another little one.
- Fifteen. - What are you doing out there. Dennis?
Stocktaking. Father.
- I thought you took stock this morning. - Oh. M. I did.
But it never hurts to keep an up—to-the-moment account of your stock.
In business nowadays. Father—
Never mind that nonsense and come and help me with this cask.
All right. Father. I'll ﬁnish stocktaking later.
See. the secret of the craft is to keep the stake—
Take hold of the hoop.
Hello. Dennis. Ralph.
Good day. Mr. Fishﬁnger. Can I be of some assistance to you today?
- Well— - Oh. Dennis. what are you—
Yes. well. see. I need some barrels. Dennis...
for shipping dried ﬁsh to the city.
Big demand there. you know. since this monster scare.
My goodness. prices going up all the time.
That's great. that's great But tell me. Mr. Fishﬁnger...
do you believe all these stories about whole villages being destroyed?
Well. I haven't actually seen the monster myself". you know.
But when I was over in Muckley the other day—
Muckley? That's quite a ways. isn't it?
It's two mile or more. easy.
Gosh. I'd like to travel someday. Mr. Fishﬁnger.
- Anyway. about the monster— - Oh. yes.
Well. this gmin merchant. you see. over in Muckley...
he claimed that he'd actually seen it.
Turned his teeth snow white overnight. they say.
- Anyway. about the barrels— - Yes. well. must be cheap.
First of all. cheap. Must be cheap.
| thinkwe can attend to your needs. Mr. Fishﬁnger.
Exactly how inapensive?
- No more than tuppence apiece. - Tuppence?
What are you talking about. Fishﬁnger?
I can't turn out a decent barrel for that price. and you know it.
- Look. Father. don't you think— - Ralph. let's be sensible.
See. the barrels have only got to last until they get to the city.
- It's easy money. - Nol
I don't make barrels to last two or three days. Fishﬁnger.
| make barrels to last a lifetime. I'm a craftsman!
-We know. Everybody knows. -|t's something you'll never understand.
Oryou either. Dennis. I'm aflaid.
You don't want barrels. You want bags.
_ |_ - Now get out!
- Look. Father— - Out!
And don't come back here with your shoddy deals.
- Yes. Good-bye. - Tuppence!
- I'm sorry. Mr. Fishﬁnger. I'm sorry. - It's all right. Dennis.
He's given me a very good idea.
Wait. Mr. Fishﬁnger! | think—l think I can get—
Bye. Dennis.
Tuppence!
Griselda.
- Yeah? - It is I. Dennis...
- come to see you. - | see.
How are you. my love?
- Have you missed me? - What?
Oh. Griselda. it's lovely to see you again.
I think about you all day long when I'm taking stock.
I dream of the day when I'll ask for your hand in marriage...
and we'll build that little cottage.
I'll come home from the shop. We'll have supper together. Hey. Roger!
Roger. what are you doing? Well. just a— You—
What?
Oh. Griselda. Sorry.
I know I can't ask you to declare your love for me...
till I'm in a better position to marry you. but say you'll wait for me.
- Say I've got a chance— - Let go!
- Why. Griselda. why? - I've gotta scratch.
Oh. sorry. Dennis. Hovifs your father?
Oh. never better. Mrs. Fishﬁnger.
- Is that Dennis Copper? - Yes.
Hello. Dennis. You've got garbage all over your vest.
You really ought to look after your appearance. Very bad for business.
Oh. by the way. I thought you'd like to know...
I got Wat the Mercer to run me up a few cloth bags— only a ha'penny each.
| wish I could’ve convinced Father to see it your way. Mr. Fishﬁnger.
Yes. well. you see. a man's got to move with the times.
When you take over the shop. no doubt we'll do a lot of business together.
Oh. that won't be for some time yet. Mr. Fishﬁ nger.
Oh. well. it's getting late. I'd better be going.
Okay by me.
Drop in any time. Dennis.
Good-bye. Griselda.
m
Is that you. Dennis?
Yes. Father.
- Come closer. Dennis. - Yes. Father.
- What happened? - It's my heart.
I haven't long.
l'm going— I'm going to—
Throw up?
No.
- Father. - Son.
What shall I do without your guiding hand. without your skill?
- Son. - Yes. Father?
I'll tell you...
you're going to end up just like that...
Fishﬁnger.
Who. me?
Father.| know Mr. Fishﬁnger's a very successful businessman. but—
Because you've got no understanding...
of craftsmanship...
no appreciation of the beauty of wood
because you'rejust a shallow...
dull. pretentious...
m
little stock-taker!
Oh. Father. you're delirious.
You don't know what you're saying.
Oh. yes. I do. you— you whimpering...
snotty-nosed...
cretinous oal!
- I've wanted to say this for years. - Father. we're not alone.
You're everything I despise!
Dad's raving. I'm aflaid.
No. he's not.
You and your kind will drive good. honest craftsmen to the wall.
Do you hear? To the wall!
Honestly. Dad. I was only trying to improve the business.
You won't have my business...
to improve anymore.
Not my cooperage.
Because I'm taking it with me!
- Dad. I don't understand. - Don't understand?
You damned ninny. I'm renouncing you. You're no son of mine.
You're no craftsman's son.
Get out. out of my sight!
Stock-taker!
Griselda! Griselda. my angel!
- Go away. We're eatin'. - |s Griselda there?
- Is that Dennis Cooper? - Yes. sir. Can I speak to Griselda?
She's eating. Dennis. What do you want?
I'm going away. Mr. Fishﬁnger. I'm going to the city.
And I'm going to make good and I'm gonna come back and claim Griselda's hand.
So you will. Dennis. Good-bye.
Griselda. I'm going away. Say something. Say anything.
- Pass the potatoes. - I heard that! You are in there.
Mydarling. I'm going away. I may not even see you—
That's rotten!
For me? Griselda. you do care.
A keepsake. something that will always remind me ofyou.
Oh. Griselda. I'll carry this nut to my heart until the day when we nut...
Say good-bye to the boy. Grisey.
mm!
Good-bye. Griselda.
No. no! Stay away!
Stay away from me!
W
What's that? What was that?
Good morning. Your Majesty.
Good morning. Passelevve.
- Good morning to you. sir. - And to you. sir. A ﬁne day.
Truly. Your business goes well. I trust.
One doesn't like to complain. And your own commercial efforts?
Oh. one does one's best. you know.
I understand you're opening a new shop.
Yes. down by the town gate. It's an area of considerable growth.
Oh. I agree. I trust we'll be hearing ﬁ'om you with an order soon.
Oh. certainly. That is. if your prices are competitive.
- Surely. - What's the latest wine-to-water ratio?
- Did you see it this morning? - Yes. it camejust as I left the house.
It's two wine to one water still. but I don't see how it can hold at that rate.
Theyre very lucky to be getting any wine at all. you know.
Is that all? I thought I detected a certain oneness in the last consignment.
Oh. that's odd. It was very robust when it left my premises.
Get a move on.
Let me send you a sample of our new shipment of port with my compliments.
Move it. you lame buggers. That would be most kind of you.
Why do you suppose the king has called this council?
Only the Lord knows. Get going. you!
But I have heard the chamberlain is urging him...
to take measures against the monster.
Measures? That would allow the peasants to leave the city?
It could very well be. And that would not be good for business. Move it!
Come on! Get a move on!
- After you. - No. you ﬁrst. please.
You're too kind.
Attention! Our Most Glorious Majesty...
lGng Bruno the Questionable.
Son of Olaf the Loud.
Oh. he's coming! He's coming!
I'm not ﬁnished yet.
Oh. look out! He's here!
Pay attention. Your Majesty.
Surely you must see it's a matter of the gravest urgency.
- Yes. yes. of course. Passelevve. -jesus Christ!
Quick. sire. down!
Stop it!
Come on.
Bless my soul!
Great grandnephew...
of Emperor Otto the Bent...
conqueror...
of Freedonia.
Let him go! Get up. man.
Silly thing. You'll get your rags all dirty.
Sire. help us. sire.
The monster is ravaging the countryside.
It has destroyed our homes. We haven't eaten in days.
- Weeks. - Months.
_ Except— - I ate my shoe yesterday.
Oh. that's nothing. late three toes offofmy right foot.
- Terrible monster— - That ain't your right foot.
Know-it-all! Are you a doctor or something?
- Please— - I saw a doctor once.
He didn't see me. I was hiding.
Your Majesty. save us ﬁ'om the great green beast.
_ GEM - The side I saw was a dirty yellow.
- No. it were more orange. - No. it was grajd
Now stop it. Stop it. all of you!
Go on. get out. get out!
What are you doing? Go on. get out!
I'll read this to the king.
- Stop it! - Go on!
You know. it seems to me. Passelewe...
that my subjects are becoming a pain in the arse.
Yes. well. my dear. you must do something.
I mean. your kingdom is paralyzed with fear.
The city below is overﬂowing with refugees.
Theyre simple people and easy prey...
for every sharp-witted merchant and trickster.
Past grand master of the Royal Order of Lowndes Wctor. Savior of Wales.
_ He)! - And king.
Your Majesty. your council meets today in solemn session...
to urgently discuss the terrible havoc-
mealredhythemanster all over the country/stile.
Look. I'm telling you. nobody gets in here without money or possessions.
But I've got possessions.
- See? - That's only a rock.
- Only a rock? - Yeah.
Listen. what if this is notjust an ordinary rock?
What if this is a diamond?
It don't shine. Now get out of here!
Right. nut.
Now. what have you got? Any grain? Any cloth?
No. I haven't got anything. really. but it's important that I get in the city.
That's what they all say. Now move along.
No. you don't understand. I've come to get ajob. I'm starting all over again.
l've got lots of good ideas. I think that. once in there. I could have—
Now look. sonny. shove off. eh? Wait a minute! What have you got here?
What's this?
You told us you had nothing.
- That's not for eating. - What do you mean?
You could last for a week on that.
just a minute. What are you up to. sonny?
Oh. nothing. nothing. It's a memento.
A memento?
My sweetheart gave it to me before I left home.
She gave you that?
Yes. Can I have it back. please?
God. she must really love you.
Yeah. I've got a sort of sticky feeling inside mejust thinking of it.
- You sure are a lucky guy. - Come on. Fred. Cut it out.
- He's not getting in. - I've got to. I've got to—
- Give him a break.just this once. - No chance. Now push off. you.
]ust 'cause he's got a potato. you can't let—
I'm tellin' you. that's what they all say. Wait a minute.
Hey. you! Come back!
That's far enough. Let's have a look at your legs.
LL“.
And so. Your Majesty...
your great-great-great—great—great grandfather...
lGng Max the Vainglorious...
by a tournament. chose ﬁ'om his knights a champion...
to ﬂee the kingdom ﬁ'om the pestilence.
Mounted on his mighty charger. Sir Bromiades waged—
What's that? Quickly. man.
Somebody might be trying to poison me.
Plaster. Your Majesty.
Oh. Carry on. Passelevve.
- Mounted on his— - The eleventh—
- Mounted on his mighty— - No. wait. Twelfth century.
Shut up! Fool!
Carry on. Passelevve.
Until peace was once more restored to the kingdom.
With that. lGng Max rode back to the cheers of his subjects...
who lined the road for over 50 miles.
Fifty miles? Do you mean they cheered him all that way?
Wow! They certainly must have respected him.
You're right. Passelevve. We'll hold a tournament.
It's years since we've heard the clash of sword against shield...
the clamor of mightily armored knights crashing to the ground...
the spurt of blood as the dagger is thrust into unprotected groin.
Oh. no.
Oh. no. dear. No. no. no. no.
What I had in mind was a— was a tournament of plaisance.
A plaisance.’
Passelevve. do my ear holes hear aright?
A plaisance with blunted sword and collared lance?
Where's the honor in that? Where's the glory...
in a bunch of buffoons playing pillow ﬁghts. eh?
No! It must be a l'autrance to the death.
- Please. Bruno. please. - No. no. no.
Go with all speed and make the arrangements.
I can't wait to tell the princess.
Daughter?
Still working hard. I see.
You and the blessed Sisters of Misery.
Well. what are you making. daughter?
A tapestry. Father. depicting the famous siege of Castle Apcadwallader.
See? In this portion...
the king is eating his horse on the 98th day of the siege.
Splendid!
Very pretty. daughter. But you were always—
Careful. Father. Sister Winnet fell out last week.
Daughter. our kingdom will soon be he of the monster.
I have declared a tournament to ﬁnd a champion to destroy it.
- What. the kingdom? - Oh. no.
- Of course not. The monster. - Oh! I see.
Yes. and not only that...
but the successful knight will win your hand in marriage.
Marriage?
Yes. well. you want to be married. surely?
- Of course I do. Daddy. - Well. then.
But I want to marry a prince. I'm supposed to marrya prince.
That's why! wait in this tower just like all the books say to do.
Are any of the contestants princes?
- Well. not uactly. - No?
No. but I could make one a prince. couldn't I?
- I mean the winner. - It's not the same.
No. not really. Ah. well. never mind.
Once the monster is destroyed...
I will build you a beautiful bridal suite...
in the lovely west tower.
On second thought...
I think the view ﬁ'om the lovely east tower...
would be inﬁnitely more preferable. hmm?
- Who is it? - Excuse me.
-Watch him. Watch him. - What does he want?
- Could I have some of your soup? - He's after our soup!
- Somebody stop him! - Poke an 'ole in him!
- I'll do anything. - Anything? Will he gather ﬁrewood?
I don't know. What do you think?
I thinkwe should poke an 'ole in him.
No. I'll collect some ﬁrewood foryou if you let me have some of your soup.
Where do I get it ﬁ'om?
Well. could I have a little taste of the soup ﬁrst?
just see if! like it? No. I thought not.
Well. I'd better go then. The ﬁrewood. was it?
So you've discovered my diamond mine. have you?
- I was just gathering ﬁrewood. - Liar! It's the diamonds you're after.
Theyre not diamonds. Theyrejust rocks.
just rocks?
Quick thinking. but not quick enough to save your skin!
The secret of my diamond mine dies with you!
I just dropped in to tell you to start without me.
Perhaps another night.
Open up there! Open the door!
Open it up! Open up in there!
Rush hour!
Hearken before it is too late!
Repent!
Cleanse yourselves!
The beast is at the gates!
Cleanse yourselves!
Horrible. Horrible.
Repent!
The beast is at the gates!
Cleanse yourselves!
All citizens. listen to me.
- Yeah. you better bloody listen! - I hope you're listening!
Are you listening up?
-You better listen up! - Shut up!
- You were the one making the noise. - You never listen.
- Sin! - Sin. Sin.
- The bristling spikes of the pondylus. - The pondyl us.
-The pointed crests of the dactylopters. -The dactylopters.
- The trigla. - The trigla.
-Andthellyinghagﬁsh -Andthellyinghagﬁsh
Are as nothing compared to the beast that holds us prisoner!
The beast—
Flying hogﬁsh?
I seen a gliding hogﬁsh once.
Never ﬁyi ng. Not actually ﬁyi ng.
Stewed mackerel! Stewed mackerel!
Cabbages. Cabbages.
Rats killed. lady. All very tidy. All very quiet.
- Morning. - Oh. morning.
I'm aﬁaid I haven't got any money.
Oh. that's all right.
Thank you. Thank you.
- Is that yours? - Well. of course it is.
Whose did you think it was?
- You're new to the city? - Yes.
I came here ﬁ'om the country to start a new life here. You know. get ajob.
Ajob? No chance. son. Oh. thank you. governor.
Well. surely there must be plenty of opportunities.
Morning. Thank you.
I am a qualiﬁed cooper's apprentice.
Cooper's apprentice?
Well. what a coincidence. I'm a cooper myself.
You may even have heard of me. Wat Dabney.
Wat Dabnejd
Not the Wat Dabney?
The inventor of the inverted ﬁrkin?
The very same. lad.
Now. if I can't get ajob here. what chance have you got?
Come here. Here. You see that plaque?
There. under the barrel. Well. that's a guild sign.
To work there. you've got to be a member of the guild.
But you're not. and I'm not and not likelyto be.
But that's not fair.
Fair or not. the guilds have this town sewn up.
Morning.
What am I gonna do?
Well. it's no good going around with a long face. is it?
I did for weeks. Nearly starved.
Then only this morning. I thought of this.
Hey...
maybe we could team up together.
Sure.
- All we've got to do is— - No. No. thankyou.
No. No. Good-bye. I think it's a one-man business.
What a golden chance he's missing.
Attention! Attention!
Ladies and gentlemen. your attention. please.
In my humble capacity as herald to His Magni—
Magniﬁcence. IGng Bruno the Questionable...
it is my privilege to announce...
ajoost—
sorry. ajoust...
to the death to choose a champion—
a champion to ﬂee the country—
to ﬂee the country ﬁ'om the torments and ravages...
of the mon—
Excuse me.
Thank you very much.
As a reward for killing the monster...
the king's champion will receive...
half the princess's hand and the entire kingdom in marriage.
Correction. It is. ofcourse—
it is. of course. the king's hand and half the princess's kingdom.
Excuse me.
Yes. I see. Thank you.
I'vejust received ﬁnal conﬁrmation of the ﬁnal terms.
It is. of course. the princess's hand...
and half the entire kingdom.
Beware thejabberwock. my son.
- Cabbages. Cabbages. - Thejaws that bite...
- the claws that catch. - Can I have one for nothing?
Go on. Get off.
Hot roasted rats! Only a farthing.
Rats on a stick!
One ofyou is going to be the lucky owner of this egg—
Get 'em hot! There you are. sonny. Off you go then.
Here then! Get your rats! Only a farthing!
Tumips. Tumips. Get your turnips. Tumips here.
Tumips. Tumips. Get your turnips.
Hey. watch it!
jesus Christ!
I'm awfully sorry. I only wanted a bite of turnip.
just keep walking.
Hold up one minute. sir. I'll have you out in two shakes.
- Come on! - I've got it. really.
How about that then?
First-class service as advertised. Don't forget. Tell your ﬁ'iends.
- Where do you want it? - Over there by the bumishing pit.
Over there by the bumishing pit.
I suppose you want this lot due in today.
What happened? A tree fall on him?
All right in there. are you?
Are you the master annorer? just look at this arm brace!
You call that workmanship?
- I can't do everything— - And look at thisjambeau!
- What's wrong with it? - It fell off. that's all!
Can't please some people. They want miracles.
- I sent for the best Italian armor. - Yes. because arm braces are simple.
I don't want to hear it! You said Friday afternoon!
And to me. that means Friday afternoon!
- I put three of my best men on thejob. - No good. No good.
Get back!
Come on. boys. Come on.
And don't bother sending a bill. either!
Excuse me.
Excuse me! I couldn't help noticing—
Get on out of 'ere!
I couldn't help noticing it would increase your efﬁciency...
if you moved your box to here.
- You— - Clumsy idiot!
- Come on. Let's get out of here. - I was only trying to improve—
- You did it beautifully. boy! - Was that me?
Come on! I'll buyyou a drink.
We'll go to the Queen's Hemorrhoids. lad.
- That better? - oh. yeah.
- I can't remember when I ate last. - Yes. I know.
I once went without food for 1 47 days.
A hundred and forty-seven days?
It was the winter of '52. the Siege of Caerlaverock.
Food was so short— What's the matter?
- You got a stomachache? - Oh. no.
I was just trying to work out what my nut move would be.
Sowas I. Ieez. whyworry?
I've got toworry.
It's a very big step coming ﬁ'om a small village to a big city.
Don't I know! That's what attracted me to the life of a squire.
The traveling. One day you're out in Hartford hunting heretics...
the nut day you're up in Scotland being burned at the stake.
The adventure!
Like the time me and my knights was ﬁghting...
the Blessed Sisters of St. Alopecia...
a band of warrior nuns.
- They really— - It sounds very uciting.
But how secure is it? Now. you take coopering—
Cooperi ng? Cooperi ng?
Hell! That's no life for a man!
It is too. Barrels and casks are very important.
- Now. in commerce— - Commerce!
Rubbish! Now you listen to me.
My knight was wounded. see...
and there was I with my back to the wall...
two whacking great nuns coming at me with maces.
I hardly think ﬁghting nuns is a very respectable way—
Here. I'll show you! Come here!
Now you try. Come at me. Put up!
Pretend that drumstick is a mace.
Oh. come on!
Really let me have it.
- I can't. - Go for me!
I deﬂected the mace!
Then I grabbed her like this!
- I want you to talk to the landlord. - What?
Then I threw her again like this!
- I want you to distract him. - What for?
You berk! She was tough. see. but I grabbed her in the old—
-just keep him talking. - I don't understand.
You will.just do it!
Now here comes the best part.
She broke my grip. see. She was coming in for the kill.
When I turned tail and ran for it.
slamming shut the castle doors...
I barred them with a lance. grabbing one of the novices as a hostage.
I fought my way up to the battlements...
hacking and slashing as I went.
All in tears. in cuts!
Easily outdistancing the enemy. I escaped.